I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
