Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
