..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
