I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
please come you make the beer taste better
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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