That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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