youre lurking in front of me
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
