May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
