So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
It was like getting head from an anaconda
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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