he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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