new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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