if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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