Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
