my shit smells like andre
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
