forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
