Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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