Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
