Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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