Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
