I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Pants are for mortals
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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