I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
