I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
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