Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
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