you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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