every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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