If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
