i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
then he tried to convert me to islam
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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