Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
