Buhtt sex?
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
