So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
