Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
