just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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