well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
