let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
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