I heard we made out
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
