I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
