As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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