if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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