But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
