Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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