i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
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