i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
