I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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