My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
