this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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