i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
