I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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