We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
