you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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