He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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