yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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