did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Randomize
