I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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